Please do not discard.

Have you ever noticed how mass mail marketers try so hard to make their mail look like real important mail, that usually it's even easier to pick out? It's funny, for years I would never get any sort of useless mail, now I must get at least half a dozen pieces of junk mail a day. However, I've gotten really good at sorting it out just by looking at the envelope. To share in my wisdom, I've compiled a handy little junk-mail identification guide.

1) If the envelope says "Please do not discard" it's probably junk mail. Every time I've received something like new credit cards, tickets from TicketMaster or anything else that I really shouldn't discard, it always comes in a completely nondescript plain white envelope with nothing but a pre-printed return address. These are ones I don't discard.

2) If the envelope looks like something incredibly important, especially if it says "Important!" on it... it's probably junk mail. Get real... you're not that important to receive mail like that.

3) If the envelope is any color other than white, and it's not Christmas, your birthday, or your wedding... it's probably junk mail. Real mail comes in white envelopes.

4) If the envelope has what appears to be a handwritten note scribbled on the front... it's probably junk mail. High-class junk mail, but still junk mail.

I'm not complaining too much though, recycling junk mail is as easy as hitting the delete key on my e-mail. But unlike e-mail, there's nothing worse than going to the mailbox and finding absolutely nothing there. At least junk mail makes my trip to the mailbox worth it.